The excerpt below is from our webinar “Challenging Behaviors of Children with DMD”. Thank you to our guest speaker psychologist Dr. Natalie Truba of Nationwide Children’s Hospital. Click here to listen to the full podcast episode.
Are We Capable?
These boys with Duchenne are sensitive to attention like anybody and they’re getting a lot of attention for things they can’t do… They get the majority of their attention for 1) things they need help with 2) things they’re not good at, or 3) things that they can’t do for themselves.
“Oh, maybe you shouldn’t go up the stairs.”
“Calm down… don’t rough-house.”
“Here. Let me help you with your plate…”
They are constantly receiving the message “You aren’t capable.” It is unrealistic for us to expect them, for example, to have a well-developed capacity or ability to regulate their own emotions when they’re not told that they can really do anything on their own.
It doesn’t matter how much effort you put into trying to do something yourself. If other people are just going to do things for you, then you won’t have good performance for different abilities because those opportunities to learn them never really materialized. Despite all this, adults are still expecting individuals with Duchenne to do this thing on their own, and to do it really well.
Perhaps the worst part is would they even believe that they could? Probably not. This means that they’re going to kind of see themselves as someone who needs help to do most things.
We Are Capable
One of the ways that you can begin to reverse this mindset is by “catching” kids being good or “catching” them doing something adaptive or things like that.
For every one negative or corrective, we’re trying to find two or three positives. Even little things like they’re sitting and playing quietly. Instead of leaving them alone, talk to them in respect of just highlighting what they accomplished.
“I’m so impressed at how creative you are.”
“Look, you can do that on your own.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
Show them that they have these abilities and that they can do them on their own. Show them that you see them as capable and it’s impressive. That can start to help offset these “Aren’t Capable” mindsets.
Plus, it helps you to catch and pay attention to those times when they are doing things that are good. And then you can also better understand the individual with Duchenne, their patterns of behavior and when those may change.
More to Consider…