The excerpt below is from The Duchenne Life, our weekly livestream with DJ Kimble and Ryan Russell. Thank you to Dr. Natalie Truba of Nationwide Children’s Hospital for being our guest on this episode. Click here for the podcast.
“I want to do these things, but I want my mom to come.”
I hear this often. And my rhetorical reply is, “Well, can your friends do things for you?” Of course they can, but it’s a comfort thing for you men…
I know some guys who are in college who are like, “Yeah, it’s really weird to talk to other guys about helping you drink a beer or do XYZ.” But…they want to hang out with you, so they are probably more than willing to do that. That’s just like – if they needed help with something – you would help them and you wouldn’t say, “Well, that’s weird.” It’s just part of the friendship.
And if you use humor and make jokes and make it comfortable – and you don’t make it weird – then they’ll follow your lead. I say this all the time, but improv classes are huge for y’all because it helps you learn to think on your feet and to use humor to diffuse a situation and to help situations feel more comfortable for other people. If you’re a 24-year-old dude, it might feel weird to ask another 24-year-old dude, “Hey, can you, like, feed me right now? Because I can’t.”
But, if you use humor, like, “Well guys, I can’t get drunk and hang out with you if no one helps me do this…” and then they’re laughing and like, “oh, yeah, right” and suddenly it’s more comfortable.
Yeah, it is weird for them because they don’t have to do that with other people, but if you make it funny and you acknowledge it, “Guys, I know this is weird, but, hey it is what it is.” And now it’s not a big thing and it just is what it is, right? But the onus on you and whether you try to make people comfortable so that being part of your life and helping you is comfortable for them.
Adulthood brings maturity and a willingness to expose and allow yourself to feel uncomfortable that maybe wasn’t there before. And I think perspective in adulthood often presents as the only way I’m gonna get this is if I do it myself.
I think the double-edged sword of having DMD is a lot is done for you and that becomes problematic when there’re certain things that only you can really do for yourself. And this is very evident from a relationship standpoint, whether with family, friends or romantic interests. Some things you have to do on your own.
