The excerpt below is from our webinar Challenging Behaviors of Children with DMD. Thank you to our guest psychologist Dr. Natalie Truba of Nationwide Children’s Hospital. Click here to listen to the podcast episode.
Boys with Duchenne get the majority of their attention for things they need help with, things they’re not good at, or things that they can’t do for themselves. They’ll often hear: Oh, be careful when you go up the stairs… Don’t rough-house too much…. Oh, let me help you with that.
These boys are sensitive to attention like anybody. So, if 1) they get a lot of the attention for things they can’t do, and 2) other people always do things for them, then they won’t be able to do a lot of the things we ask them to. They just don’t have the experience.
They are constantly receiving the message “you aren’t capable.”
– Dr. Natalie Truba
Does anyone in this type of situation even believe that they can do something? Well, if they’re always told they can’t, then probably not.
One of the ways that you can help change this is by “catching” kids being good or “catching” them doing something that’s adaptive. So, use a mindset of OK, I know that I need to help you with x, y and z. But then, I’m going to go out of my way to find three things that I don’t have to help you with that I’m really impressed with.
So for every negative or corrective comment, we’re going to give two or three positive comments – even little things.
If they’re sitting and playing quietly, instead of leaving them and taking some respite time, share with them, “I’m so impressed at how creative you are. You’re just really creative and you can play by yourself. I’m so proud of you.”
Those types of things let them know that they have these abilities, that they can do things on their own, that you see them as capable, and that it’s impressive. Adding those positives in frequently can really help to offset all those negatives that they hear daily.
In addition, highlighting the positives helps you stay in touch with their mood or their window of tolerance. This will help you better understand their pattern of escalation when those moods abruptly change.
