The excerpt below is from our webinar “Strengths and Challenges for Siblings of Individuals with Duchenne” with guest speaker Emily Holl. Emily Holl is the Director of the Sibling Support Project. Click here to listen to the full episode.
If you spend enough time talking to siblings and reading sibling research as I do, you recognize that there are siblings who say, “Yup, having a sib with Duchenne is like the greatest gift I could ever have. Having this unique experience has fostered my compassion and tolerance and flexibility and resilience and all of these wonderful traits.” That is definitely true of many, many siblings.
On the other hand, you have siblings who say actually “the reason my life is all messed up is because I have a sibling with Duchenne. This has not been a great experience.”
But for the vast majority of siblings, it’s not all one or all the other. It’s all of the above, right? It’s the Super Jumbo Combo on any given day… So today we are going to talk about siblings, unique concerns and unique opportunities because they think it’s really important to recognize that siblings experience both. And you know, the truth is, it really is a mixed experience… kind of like life for all of us.
Maturity
I think of maturity as the flip side of all that increased responsibility. As a result, you develop a maturity that you often know that is different from that of your peers. The idea that life has many facets and that the human experience, the human condition, what it means to be a human being, is a lot of different things.
Even our youngest siblings at sib shops talk about “what does it mean to be a friend?” Is a friend someone who teases people with disabilities, even if it’s not your sib? Well, probably not.
We talk about the litmus test in the sibling community. that depending on how our friends or maybe potential partners respond to our siblings, it tells us a lot about who they are and whether or not we want to keep them in our lives. So, our siblings are kind of a litmus test for who we want to let into our circle.
Appreciation
Next is opportunities for appreciation for our families and loyalty.
Look at what we’ve been able to face together and look at who we are as a family as a result of just having each other’s backs and just having that unconditional love for one another. So those I think are the opportunities for appreciation.
You know, we’re not perfect, but we have each other, and we’ve been through a lot together, maybe a lot more than some of our friends’ families can even think about.
Humor
Humor and laughter are really good for us, right? The research tells us laughter is good for our health, our social contacts and connections.
Humor is a big part of how many of us approach the world and cope. Siblings are great for breaking the ice and lightening the mood when life just gets too heavy.
