by Ryan Russell, PhD

about the author:

Dr. Ryan Russell is a life coach, a consultant and speaker, with a PhD in Psychology. He also has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and is 41 years old. For more about Dr. Russell: https://lifeonpositivity.com/

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Navigating Love with a Disability:
Practical Insights and Personal Triumphs

Not too long ago, I penned an article titled “Dreams Really Do Come True”. Today, on the brink of fulfilling my dream of becoming a husband and father, I feel compelled to share how this dream became my reality. My journey, marked by Duchenne muscular dystrophy, is a testament to finding joy and love beyond the confines of disability.

For 23 years, I navigated the ups and downs of single adulthood with a disability. It was a roller coaster of emotions and experiences, teaching me invaluable lessons about love and self-worth. My message is clear: “Your worth is intrinsic, and your disability doesn’t define your entirety.”

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The Misconceptions and Revelations

During high school and college, I ventured into the dating world. I preferred double dates so my friend could drive my van rather than a date. This arrangement stemmed from a mistaken belief that my disability made me less desirable, a notion I mistakenly thought would change only if I was cured of Duchenne.

This belief led to years of regret over missed romantic opportunities. It wasn’t until I was 30 that I recognized the toxicity of such thoughts. Embracing this new perspective, I ventured into dating again, starting with rekindling an old college friendship. Though it didn’t turn into a romantic relationship, it was a learning experience.

My journey through online dating spanned almost a decade. Like many others, I discovered its pitfalls– often leading to more disappointment than success. The nature of dating apps – designed for profit rather than love – meant enduring a long and often disheartening search for a partner.

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The Epiphany and Finding Love

My ultimate advice, which may sound cliché but rings true, is patience. The journey to finding love can be long – it took me 23 years. But when you find someone who complements you perfectly, every moment of waiting feels worth it.

While pursuing a Master’s degree and a Ph.D., I aimed not just for academic excellence but personal growth. These endeavors were steps towards becoming a better person, husband, and father.

At the PPMD conference in Dallas, Texas, in June 2023, I was there to speak and participate, unaware that I would meet my future wife. It was an encounter I never expected, in a place and manner I least expected.

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A Message of Hope and Potential

To all my friends with Duchenne or any disability: Remember, every human has the potential to become more than their present selves. Strive to see others not just for who they are, but for who they can become. This perspective is not only how you want to be seen but also how you should view others.

This journey of mine is a narrative of hope, resilience, and the power of self-belief. It underscores the universal truth that dreams, no matter how lofty, can indeed come true.

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