Dr. Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child, hinges his entire ____ on the principle that kids – indeed all humans – do well when they can. They excel when they can, they meet expectations when they can, they want to do well. And when they do, society is happy.
The problem is, however, that due to the physiological state of the DMD brain, the social stressors, and ____, kids with Duchenne sometimes can’t do what society asks of them.
They simply lack the skills and that is communicated through their behavior. And in fact, it can be argued that anger, tantrums and meltdowns actually protect your child.
Our human brain isn’t mature until we are about 25 years old and language development isn’t mature until _____ And yet, we humans still need a way to communicate even when the logic and language isn’t there to do it for us. Behaviors help us to bridge that gap. Behavior is communication.
Honestly, this isn’t bad in and of itself. Attempts at communication are attempts at connecting, asking for help, and helping things change. The problem is that our society doesn’t often appreciate it for communication, but rather chosen disobedience, chosen disrespect, chosen ____.
And so they are often punished for the natural human need of connecting and communication. This response to explosive behaviors often just escalates the tension, the behaviors and the stressed the relationship. After all, adding gasoline to a burning fire doesn’t put the flame out. Quite the opposite. It can take a controlled campfire to reckless forest fire in a heartbeat.
So if punitive parenting doesn’t work, what does?
- Communication and collaboration.
- Identifying the lagging skills and allowing them space and time to learn them.
- Providing them the opportunity to talk regularly and openly with someone about the struggles they are facing in their lives. In other words – counseling.